Edinburgh Fringe Comedy and much more...

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival has a 'Best Joke of the Festival" Award.

Here are the winners. For those who do not know, Rose West was the wife of Fred West. The event itself (much covered by the British media) inspired jokes such as:
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"Fred West is at the pearly gates. St Peter addresses him "Sorry mate I
think there's been a bit of a mix up, you should be at the other end if
you get what I mean, have a seat while I sort things out. While you
waiting would you like a drink?"

Fred West goes "You know, I could murder some Tennants...."
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The variant of this:

Guard: "What would you like?"

Harold Shipman: "A nice whiskey would be great"

Guard: "What would you like?"

Myra Hindley: "I'd love some red wine"

Guard: "What would you like?"

Fred West: "I could murder some Tennants"
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Fred West could have gotten away with it so easily...



If only he'd thought to tell the police he got his topsoil in Lockerbie.
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There's some good in everyone, say what you like about Fred West, but he knew how to lay a good a patio.

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I just read that Fred and Rose West's old house is coming up for sale again.

I can't see anyone in their right mind wanting to live there... it's in Gloucester.
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When Fred West got caught, he told police that there were 16 more
bodies buried under his house. The police went to check and found 25
bodies. "What's the idea", the police asked him. "There were 25 bodies,
not 16".



Fred replied, "I'm in the building trade, the figure of 16 was just an estimate".
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What's pink and smells of rose?



Fred West's cock!
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The youngest West kid and two other children are playing wild at playgroup.

One kid runs up the climbing frame. "Hahahahaha! I'm the bestest! I've got a Thomas the Tank Engine Bedroom."

The second one jumps into the sandpit. "Hahahahaha! I'm the bestest! I've got a Bob the Builder Playroom."

The West Kid looks bemused then says in an adamant voice "Wait 'til you see my Funnybones Basement!"

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Frederick West is in the shower, but has run out of shampoo. "Oh no, Rose, I'm unable to wash me hair!"



"Ah don't worry Fred", came the reply. "There are plenty of Head and Shoulders in the basement".

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A neighbour sees Fred West digging a hole in the flower garden so goes to investigate.

"What are you up to Fred?" he asks. Fred West replys " Not much, just putting the kids to bed"
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If someone says to you, which famous person do these titles make you
think of? 'kiss from a rose' 'crazy' or 'killer' You would think, Seal,
right?

Me, I'd think Fred West.

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FRED WEST
HOME IMPROVEMENTS
If you want the best. try West!!!
We make no bones about it, we put body and soul into our properties
Don’t have grave doubts most of Fred’s family have been into patio’s, bathrooms, fireplaces, etc. for years.
Wife and kids under your feet?
Why not try a West special extension
We knock all competition dead!
Contact: WEST HOME IMPROVEMENTS
25 Cromwell Road
GLOUCESTER
(References available from Gloucester C.I.D.)
Sponsored by Quick Mix Cement & Pollyfilla
You just lie down. We provide the cover.
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The life story (note: graphic and disturbing information!!! You have been warned) of Fred West may explain (but not justify) his behaviour and actions.

One of the weirdest aspects of the whole thing is the link with Dave Glover, bass player with Slade, who at one time (2003) had planned to marry Rose West.

As a side note, I used to live in "The Black Country" and was in 'The Trumpet' pub where Noddy Holder of Slade used to drink when he comes in (like any other customer) and we spent about two hours chatting and drinking Banks's Mild. He truly is a really nice guy and person who is not spoiled at all by his fame. Cheers, Noddy

My other claims to band 'fame' also involve being in pubs where bands have either come in for a drink or been there when I arrived - Rick Wakeman (castigated by the landlord of the pub when he played the piano in case he might damage it), UB40 in a pub in Dudley, and Led Zeppelin band members in 'The Lamp Tavern' (also Dudley)