Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Of Ninjas and global warming

As someone who flies an above average times a year I realise that this has a significant impact on the environment. I have no better option that I can think of on how to get to and from the places I work without it significantly impacting my 'lifestyle'. As an example, I live in Spain and am currently working in the Netherlands. Last year... in Australia. The year before in Pakistan...

I am currently taking a Dutch course and, as a personal exercise, have taken to reading the free newspapers that appear as if by magic in my letterbox. I say 'magic' because they arrive sometimes when I am actually in my apartment and I have yet to see or hear one drop to the floor. I have been conjuring strange images in my mind of ninja paper boys (and not forgetting girls of course) who get to the fourth dan (or whatever it is called) of guerrilla marketing and proudly sport their headband made of a newspaper rubber band or similar. Their art is perfected when, despite the 'No junk mail or free newspapers' sign on the letterbox, they are able to deliver the paper silently with a simple flick of the wrist while leaving no shadow on the door mat. It is the only way I can think that they get there.

Putting this wild thought to one side as I sat on the tram on my way to work (no car so kudos to me on the GW front) I was flicking through the various reports related to the unusual weather that is being experienced here. The front page had a big photo of 'De schoonste stranden van Nederland 2007' (apparently it is NOT Zandvoort on Zee). Someone correct me on this one, but the beach cannot be seen as it is a solid mass of varying degrees of cellulite and beer guts. The report highlights the fact that this is a good beach if you want a good dose of 'eczeem' or (my personal favourite) 'darmklatchen'. Check the latter out on Altavista Babel Fish...

Understand that for the sun to shine in the Netherlands is almost akin to the Second Coming or similar. The novelty of this would appear to be wearing off as I heard one woman complaining that it was too warm at 23C. You instinctively have an umbrella to hand and rain coats are top fashion items. For those who took long Easter vacations to Spain they encountered the equally unusual extended cold and rain that has been the bane of our roof terrace garden. Only recently has the weather improved in Spain although this week has been one of rain showers which have resulted in my better half coming down with a cold.

Back to the newspaper though. Inside there was an article about what you can do as an individual to improve your own personal carbon rating. The top saving can be made by using 'green' gas (not American petrol) at 23%. Not flying 15%. 'Green' electricity is 14%. This would be good for me but for the fact that I fly, I rent my apartment and have no control over the source of my electricity and no gas. So, perhaps I can save by recycling and sorting out the plastics from the paper etc... Nope. This has a rating of 0% as you have already used the plastic and paper (thanks ninjas) and there are carbon costs associated with the whole recovery and recycling processes. You CAN save by bitching to your local supermarkets/shops about the excessive and unnecessary packaging that they have taken to utilising or simply do what I do and remove it in the store and leave it behind. Maybe if you are reading this and you work in a store can explain to me why on earth (for example) it is necessary at all to shrink wrap a carrot. That is correct. I bought a carrot (one of the large 'winter' types) and it was shrink wrapped. Or the mini tomatoes that come in a clear plastic box. Hey Mr. Supersavershopperhypercheap store owner... it is not needed or wanted.

The simplest ways of making savings are the small ones:

1. Energy efficient bulbs - 1%%
2. Switching things from standby to off - 1.5% (that is also 1.5% off your power bill too)
3. Hybrid car - 4%
4. Solar water heating - 2.3%

The list goes on. However, one of THE best ways to be carbon efficient is... to follow a strict vegetarian diet. All of that methane that the cows BELCH would not be released. It got me thinking that perhaps this could be trapped... what a great invention that would be. The alternative would be to attach a similar device to humans. With so many of us, just our physical presence in terms of latent heat and the gases we release is a direct source of GW. That is without the other impact we have with our individual and collective activities.

On a final note, you can save 3% of your emissions quota by just reducing meat consumption by 50% and also not drinking alcohol or coffee. Something that I would find difficult to do. Alternatively, we could all fit adapted models of the cow methane devices. For some people it would be a benefit.

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